I think it is time for someone to grow up a bit. You can't go on the way you are or you'll just end up a mess. You need to focus to try and sort yourself out and start to improve things. It's all down to you (and you have support if you need it) but you need to ditch the anger and just get on with things that need doing.
You know what you need to do so please start doing it as everyone is starting to get very stressed about the whole situation.
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