Helping the boys in blue

Oh it's been such a fun packed day off today. Following on from my oh so pleasurable trip to the hygenist I then had to shoot off to Shenfield to meet an office from Lothian & Borders Police to hand over some evidence and give a statement. This wasn't any real hardship as I knew I would have to do this at some point as I'd been talking to them for some months now. Was a bit suprised to hear that I might get called to verify the evidence in court if required though, although I won't complaim about having to make a trip to Edinburgh.

Amusing moment was seeing his face though when we popped into Holland's cafe and they refused to take his Scottish £10 note, he was seriously not amused!

I gave him an Egnlish £10 and now have his Scottish one in my wallet to try and get some poor unsuspecting retailer to accept, it is legal tender after all.

Keith's teeth

YuK! Had to go and see the hygenist today. It was NOT fun. Hygenists are NEVER fun. I hate all that scraping and digging about and making things bleed! To cap it all I have a bit of a potential problem brewing so have to go back again in 4 weeks :o(

That will be £94 quid spent on 1 hours work over 2 trips. That's the other reason why I really hate dentists, becuase it isn't on the NHS and costs me money GRRRRRRRRRR

Extra caravan for Swanage

YAY, my mum is an absolute superstar. She has booked and paid for an additional caraven for the second week in Swanage so that it will be possible for Shane, Toni, Gemima and Aaron to come and stay too. So nice of her to do that and everyone is really excited about it now!

Last.FM listening post

Here's last week's top picks music lovers!

Top weekly tracks:


Top weekly artists:


Overall top artists:

Sundays are for.......................

Toni started the morning writing a long email to her solicitor (with minor input from me) asking for advice on the fact that Nick has made plans for his brother to come and stay "short term" when it was pretty clear that there was no real timescale involved and all it would be would be muddy the waters and delay any chance she might have of selling the house as part of her divirce.

After a bit of a lazy start we got up and Toni made us all a wonderful big breakfast of sausages, bacon, cheesy scrambled egg, mushrooms and toast. It was SO yummy and VERy filling too but a nice treat for all of us.

Made some significant changes today. Following on from my chat with Toni in the week I moved the large picture of Sharon from the bedroom to the living room so that everybody can see it, much to Sam's delight. Toni and I then had much fun arranging and putting up the small collection of naughty pictures that I had recently bought in the bedroom. Big grins all round which can only be a good thing!

Wow! Toni brought a huge piece of beef with her on Friday and she made a massive roast dinner tonight. It was gorgeous, succulent beef covered in rosemary and roast potatoes and vegetables.

Watched V For Vendetta while we ate dinner. I love this film. The message is so simple and conveyed in an excellent manner.
"Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof."

In the interest of procrastination, Toni helped me write a PR for the Capitals regarding ticket price increases, something I new would need to be portrayed sensibly. It was a good PR although the fans still haemorrhaged as expected LOL

Toni, Aaron and Gemima didn't leave until gone 23:00, not that I am complaining as I love it when they are there, just a shame they have to go at all......

Vendetta time again!

I love the second Saturday of the month as it's time for our trip to Vendetta. Can't beat the fun of getting ready, Toni and I both floating ideas on what we are going to wear, what make up and hair style we'll go for. That part is almost as exciting as the club itself.

As usual we had a really good time, getting to meet and know more and more people there. Neil and Sam have invited us along to Club Rub, Devil's Playground and also to Xpo 2008. Quite looking forward to going to some of those nights!

Was nice to get a free drink from Rex and then another one as we were leaving when Dave thought I was asking for another when I was waving goodbye LOL

Tart!


Rainbow en route to Westcliff on Sea:


Yummy


Scrummy


Oh KT what fantastic legs you have got!:


Awww:


Sit On My Face:


Sparkly eyes:


Smily Toni:


DJ Abdicate (Steve)


Katie Starr

Kung Fu Panda

Toni and I took Gemima, Aaron and sam to see Kung Fu Panada in Basildon today armed with sweeties, popcorn and drinks. It's a fun film, you don't have to think too hard and the jokes just keep coming. Jack Black as usual is awesome.

Friday frolics

Toni managed to get away early today and was at home before I got back so it was nice top get in with her already waiting!.
We popped off to Asda to get a few bits. I couldn't believe it, whenever we go to Asda we also seem to see Emma there. I had sent Dren a text earlier in the day about whether or not Jeff Lynne's Underpants was continuing. I saw him in Asda so started talking to him (and he confirmed that JLU would be continuing once he has cleared the 250 servers out of his living room that he bought "by mistake". Was quite amusing as Emma came along and put her arm round him but he didn't reciprocate so I wonder if that was for my benefit! Not sure why she thinks I'll bat an eyelid at things like that but she seems to want me to think that her and Dren are an item when other elements suggest otherwise.

Dinner was two dishes; turkey mince pasta and seafood pasta of which I had both and they were yummy scrummy!

We then indluged in saddo city and caught up with the happenings in Big Brother and watched Mario get evicted.

Been a long week

*phew*
It's been a long week and I am glad that the weekend is finally here. Been a real rollercoaster but at least I know where I am headed now and the future is looking very rosey!

11 weeks 3 days...........

Now what on earth is he waffling on about you may well ask!
Well the answer to that is that Sophie had her scan today and the baby is 11 weeks and 3 days old. She has to go back on Monday for another scan but all is well and baby has a strong heartbeat.

So there you have it, I am going to be Grandad Glitz and here's the proof.........

Sorted things out

Toni came to stay last night. When she arrived she looked as though she didn't really want to be here. I knew why, having a bit of a rollercoaster ride the past couple of days. We had already talked about a few things that were going on and causing issues but I had reached a point where there were things that I needed to tell her.

Thankfully they were just what she wanted and needed to hear and I feel like our relationship has taken one massive step forwards and I myself have also evolved and moved on emotionally.

Things are rally starting to look VERY positive for the future

Vampires Rock

OMG, I have to go and see Vampires Rock on its latest tour.
Toyah is in it!

Main man Steve Steinman is an awesome singer (saw him do a charity gig in Nottingham a few years ago)



See a promo clip with Toyah and Steve here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7497218.stm

Official website is here:
http://www.vampiresrock.com/

A couple of fun YouTube clips, unfortunately all the high quality promos have been disabled for embedding so you'll have to make do with this!

Big thank you

A very big thank you to all the people that have got in touch today:

Tracy Skingley
Gloria Ashmore
Tracy Braddock
Sandra Slater
Paul (from THF)
Sue
Heather Jepson
Sarah Young
Hazel Marchant
Kathryn Ferraby
Tracey Wardill
Angie Jones

An extra bit thank you has to go to Toni Scott though. Not only has she been my rod and support for the past year but she also has to "fade" into the background occasionally which must be really really hard. I am sorry that today hasn't been a great one for you but your support is the best and without you I would have fallen a long time ago!

Sophie still in hospital

Sophie is still in hospital. Seems she had a really bad asthma attack, worse than those the other week. They have had to give her magnesium and she has been on oxygen most of the day. She is waiting to see a consultant before they decide whether or not she'll be allowed out today. Really hope that they can get this cracked as she must be really fed up of hospitals!

Sharon Gloria Ashmore - Gone But Never Forgotten

It is totally unbelievable that a year has passed already. Sharon was my world, my be all and end all. She gave me the most amazing 18 months of my life. We did so much in such a short time and all of it was good. I miss her so much. I shall just have to look back on my memories and cherish them and use them to take me onwards through life.

SHARON GLORIA ASHMORE
19/09/64 - 08/07/07
Gone But Never Forgotten

Gloomy Shadows

I watch you when you're sleeping
I softly touch your skin
I can't believe that you are here with me
I never let you go
Everything feels so unreal...
So perfect and so new
You promised me that you won't hurt me
Why can't I believe?

Tell me why I feel uncertain
And put my trust in you
I'm hiding behind the wall of doubts
Unable to break free
Nothing good will last forever
Another broken dream
I'm too weak to change the future
Even if you're here with me

Another dream will turn to dust
I can not change my destiny
I am damned to fight alone
Against these gloomy shadows

I'm diving in this bloody ocean
I'm surrounded by my fear
No light will ever touch me
In this world of agony

Tell me why you feel uncertain
Put you're trust in me!
You are hiding behind the wall of doubts
But I can set you free
This pain won't last forever
I know this is our dream
Together we can change the future
As long as you are here with me

Another dream will turn to dust
I can not change my destiny
I am damned to fight alone
Against these gloomy shadows

I'm diving in this bloody ocean
I'm surrounded by my fear
No light will ever touch me
In this world of agony

Don't be afraid, this is our future
Trust me when I say
We will be together
I will always guide your way

Another dream will turn to dust
I can not change my destiny
I am damned to fight alone
Against these gloomy shadows

I'm diving in this bloody ocean
I'm surrounded by my fear
No light will ever touch me
In this world of agony

- Gloomy Shadows (Blutengel)

The Risk Of Love

The Risk of Love
by: Kris Hydmore

There is a risk involved in everything
Every time you share a smile
Every time you shed a tear
You are opening yourself up to hurt.
Some people tread slowly through life,
Avoiding the closeness risk brings,
Sidestepping the things they can not understand
Turning away from those who care too much-
Those who care stay too long,
Those who hold too tightly.

There is never an easy way to love
You cannot approach it cautiously
It will not wait for you to arm yourself.

It does not care if you turn away
It is everywhere, it is everything.
Love is the greatest of all risks.

It is not reliable, it is not cautious,
It is not sympathetic
It is unprejudiced and unmerciful.
It strikes the strongest of mind,
And brings them to their knees in one blow.

Even in the best of times, love hurts.
It hurts to need, it hurts to belong,
It hurts to be the other part of someone else,
Without either of your consent.

But, from the moment it overtakes you,
It hurts worse to be all alone.
The risk of love never depletes;
It grows stronger and more dangerous with time.
But, it is in the total surrender of all defense,
That we, no matter weak or strong,
No matter willing or captive,
No matter what, we truly experience love.

Despite the many things love is not,
Outweighing it all are the things that love is.
Love is surrender without a loss.
It is a gift without the cost.
It consumes your every thought and desire,
Every breath you take.
It is the fire that fuels you
To do more than pass through life;
It urges you, instead, to live.

No matter the outcome, having felt love,
You will never be the same.
It may scar your heart and soul
And leave you only memories of forever.
Or, it may cause every day of your life
To feel like there is no need for tomorrow.
But, love is worth it. It is worth the risk...

For in all of life,
Love is truly the only risk worth taking.

Stuck in a void

Didn't get to bed until 03:30, just kept doing stuff to avoid having to go to bed and then wake up today!

When I did wake up it was like I was in a void, a complete absence of emotion. Not sure what I had been expecting but it certainly wasn't that!

Seems I had prepared myself for feeling awful and mentally my brain circumvented all that. The emotion is slowly coming through now and I am trying to get through the day.


Just to compound things Sophie is back in hospital again!

Bracing myself

Spent a lot of the weekend and most of today bracing myself for tomorrow. It's weird and I really don't know how I am going to be. Was going to book the day off work and then decided that I might be better off trying to carry on as normal and just deal with anything else as it happens.

Big thanks to everybody who has show me support over the last couple of days, thank you for being there for more (this list is by no means exhaustive so don't take offence if you aren't mentioned):
Gloria Ashmore, mum, Angie Jones, Tracy Skingley, Toni and Hazel

Last.FM listening post

Here's last week's top picks music lovers!

Top weekly tracks:


Top weekly artists:


Overall top artists: