Escaping the gender binary trap

Escaping the gender binary trap

This post has been a long time in the making, so please hang in there when reading it as it will probably run off at some tangents and get confusing! On the plus side, if you are confused by reading this, then think how it must feel to be me!

For those of you that aren't aware, the gender binary view is actually quite simple. We are male or female, end of. Got that? Good. Now forget it!

I got asked a couple of interesting questions the other day. Am I fem today or evil twin brother? Am I intending to go full time?

These questions sparked some thought processes. What am I exactly? I have feminine traits, I like to dress in a feminine manner but I wouldn't say I actually want to BE a woman. I'm certainly not planning on any major surgery downstairs anytime soon, although breast augmentation does hold some appeal to me.

It is actually a great relief that the transgender/trans banner has appeared to at least be a catch all and the one that I mainly use these days, although it's just as confusing for most people trying to explain what it means.

Understanding the difference between gender and sex could be one of the most important steps to understanding transgenderism. The basic idea is that gender refers to your identity, which is the mental aspect; while sex refers to your physical, biological, or legal classification. For most people, the difference is moot because their gender identity matches their assigned sex, which can make it harder to understand that there is a difference. For people who are transgendered, however, their gender identity does not match their biological sex.

There are so many terms appearing now that fall under the transgender banner. This is just a small selection as an example. Finding definitions for these terms is quite difficult as in some cases there are conflicting views.
Transsexual
Transvestite/Crossdresser
Bi-Gender
Meta-Gender
Genderqueer
Androgyne

Most people assume that if I use the description “Trans” that I am transvestite. Not in my world folks! That’s a description that doesn’t really cover me although a lot of my work colleagues do refer to me as transvestite.

I am becoming known as KT by more people and that was a deliberate move on my part for it to be mixed up with Katie. I don't actually care whether I am seen as male or female. That is completely irrelevant to me. I just want to be seen and liked as ME! I actually get annoyed when I see forms that insist you specify whether you are male or female. I want an "other" option please or the right to not report it at all. Why do I have identify as male or female?

This might not make me popular but in a way I think that this is where a lot of the transgender community haven't quite got it right. We are so deeply ingrained with the gender binary that it's very difficult to think outside and a lot of trans people only seem to think in the male or female; you are one or the other and want to be one or the other. If you don't follow that view then it is very easy to feel like an outsider and that you don't really belong even if the battles and struggles are very similar.

It also doesn't really bother me whether I am referred to as he or she (although I guess at a push I would actually prefer she as I feel more feminine than masculine). Maybe it should be a big deal as it is for some people but life is too short; although I would object to being referred to as it! As long as I am treated with respect then does it really matter? I certainly can't be bothered with using the gender neutral pronouns that some people like to use, some of them are more akin to learning a completely new language and I think they take things too far.

I think I am living in a world of fluidity. I can present as male, I can present as female or a combination of the two. Does that make me genderfluid? LOL However I present though, there is one thing that is common underneath it all; me! I don’t change personality based on how I choose to present myself. I don't have distinct social circles for KT and Katie, they all blend into one as rule. I am very comfortable being me on the whole, it's other people that need to challenge the stereotypes that they view the world with.

So where am I now you might ask? The answer is escaping from the gender binary trap. I am evolving/have evolved outside of the stereotypical and sadly antiquated view that there can only be male or female. It is quite liberating to think like this. A lot of trans people talk about transitioning. In a way I feel that I am actually transcending. Pretentious? Moi? HELL YEAH!




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